Everything was fine until my Mom called.  My Mom works for the YMCA of East TN as their Healthy Living Director, Fitness Instructor, YMCA of the USA Trainer, Biggest Cheerleader and general Go To Woman. Seriously, she does it all.  She has been teaching group fitness classes since the early 80’s when Jane Fonda was doing her thing on TV screens across the U.S.  She started and hasn’t stopped.  Now, at 59+ she is still teaching.  Basically, she is making all of us look like lazy shits.

One of her flagship classes is her Monday morning Aqua Aerobics class.  The students in this class are the usual suspects – 70ish women who really should not be seen in public (or anywhere) in a bathing suit.  But, there they are every Monday morning in all their saggy skin wonderment. I give them credit – they don’t care and good for them.  They are 70 and they know it. Anyway, to keep things exciting in this class, my Mom will choreograph seasonal tunes for them to aqua ‘dance’ to.  They’re trying to join the rest of us in the 21st century and now they like to have their dances videoed…that’s where I come in.

There I was last night, minding my own business trying to get the lyrics to Let It Go out of my head for the umpteenth time, when my Mom called.  Here’s how that conversation went down:

Mom: “Amy, I meant to ask you this earlier but can you come video my aqua class tomorrow morning at 8:15?”

Me: “Um, yeah, I guess – let me look at my calendar…yes, I can do it.”

Mom: “Oh, good.  We are doing a routine to Easter Bonnet…and all the old ladies made bonnets…and are going to wear them during the class.”

Me: Short silence…”Really? Wow!  That’s…something.  Yep – I wouldn’t miss this for anything…(devilish snicker begins)”

Mom: “Great – you can put this on YouTube right?”

Me: “Yes, yes I can…” (more devilish snickering)

Mom: “Okay, thanks.  See you in the morning!”

So, I show up this morning at 8:15 and there they are in all of their glorious wonder.  Words can’t describe it so I have given you a photo below.


Yes, you’ve got it right.  No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.  Yes, they are in a pool, with hats on. I told you it would be something!

They do their thing to the Easter Bonnet song and as I am recording them I think, how the hell did I find myself, a midish 30ish year old professional, mother to two amazing kids, video taping a bunch of old ladies dancing in the water at 8:15 in the morning?  Exactly HOW does this happen?  Then I look at my Mom in her wetsuit and think to myself, THAT is how.  That woman, in her wetsuit doing the only thing worse than water dancing…doing a water dance on land and living it!  I am her spawn.  This kind of crap simply finds us in the universe and we are drawn to it like moth to a flame.  Like mother like daughter…there is no escaping it.  So, what do we do?  Embrace and share it!

The old ladies were so insanely excited to have this Easter Bonnet performance recorded for all eternity that not only did I commit to posting it to you tube (here’s the link in case you can’t help yourself) but promised to Instagram it to The Ellen DeGeneres Show.  She is always looking for weird shit to put on her show…here’s one for you Ellen!

2 thoughts on “How do I get myself into this shit?

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